A voice for Democrats to commit, not complain

Simon Rosenberg and Hopium

Part of a series of short provocations. Nuance available on request. Leave your clarifying questions in the comments, and I’ll respond directly or in a future post.

Most organizations are filled with the language of complaint. When people care about things that are thwarted, they bitch and moan. It’s wired into cultures and brains. As an executive coach for 25 years, I’ve seen this in companies and organizations of every size, shape, and scope, from Fortune 50 leadership teams to teams of engineers in start-ups to foundation executives.

So when Democrats complain — publicly and continuously — about their party and its leaders, I’m not surprised. Especially after an election defeat with calamitous consequences, like an unelected plutocrat vaporizing a $40 billion federal agency, USAID, in less than a week. Yes, the Wall Street Journal confirms, this happened.

Fortunately, the language of complaint that adheres to many Democrats like sticky sap from pine cones is neither divinely ordained nor required by law or constitution. It’s a habit. Like every habit, it can be shifted through awareness and choice. Instead of complaining, people can say what they care about — and then take constructive action. In the words of adult development experts Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey, we can flip complaints into commitments.

This is possible if, and only if, we take responsibility for our moods.

Simon Rosenberg is a good illustration of this. The longtime Democratic strategist and thinker, Rosenberg ran a think tank called NDN for nearly three decades. I recall reading one of his newsletters in the late 1990s and thinking, “This guy’s on the ball.” In 2022, Rosenberg was one of the only people to correctly predict that a big Republican win in the midterms, the so-called “Red Tsunami,” was an illusion. Shortly after that, he disbanded NDN and started a popular blog called Hopium, which, like the drug it is named after, is potent and mood-altering.

On the surface, Hopium is about politics. Yet, it’s also about moods, which I define as the persistent emotions that shape what actions are possible and not. If emotions are the weather, then moods are the climate. As I’ve written, hope is not the only alternative to despair. Yet, when times are tough and you want to make things better, hope beats despair—and its sidekick, the language of complaint — every time. Now, here’s the catch. To make this work, you can’t cover up the ugly events happening around you. You can’t ignore the vaporization of USAID, the illegal purging of federal employees, or the theft of sensitive Treasury Department data. You have to face these events directly and soberly.

Then — and this is what Rosenberg does especially well — you place those brutal facts in a larger context. You point to small wins and stories of courage and persistence. You remind people that, in the words of the American writer Albert Murray, you can’t have a hero without a dragon. You encourage people to stay in the game, to call their Congressperson and register short and specific requests, e.g. “Please send a criminal referral to the Justice Department to stop Elon Musk’s crime spree.” When people follow through, you thank them. And you do this day after day. Not a single action, but a habit.

Rosenberg’s blog, Hopium Chronicles, chronicles the horrors of the new Trump administration yet also the wins of those opposing it. One day the headline reads “Trump is moving fast and breaking things.” The post grounds this assessment in specific examples. Nothing pretty here. Then, several days later, this headline: “Judges block NIH cuts, rule White House failed to comply w/ court order — good news all.”

By reading this blog the past couple of weeks, I’ve gained a better on-the-ground understanding of what’s happening now in DC and around the country, both the shadow and the light.

Rosenberg appears aware of what he’s up to. I don’t know if he’s familiar with Kegan and Lahey’s notion of “the language of commitment,” but he embodies it. And he’s not shy about calling out its evil twin, the language of complaint. In a recent live talk to the Hopium community, he said, “People have to stop crapping on Democrats and being perpetually disappointed. It’s self-indulgent and a waste of time.”

Indeed.

He then offered a choice, one available to any hero facing a dragon. “You have to decide. Do you want to win? Or do you want to whine?”

Good question.