Nine tempting but unhelpful interpretations of Mr. Trump’s victory

This morning, I texted several friends, “Hugs to you on this sad sad day.”

One friend, who frequently speaks in a sarcastic tone yet has a huge heart, replied:

Thank you. We are appalled, shocked, sad, and scared. But we’ll get through this. Friends, family, community, move your body, love as hard as you can.

This is wisdom.

Now, let me add two reflections about making sense of the election results. One is about the heart, and one is about the mind.

1. Give space for your emotions

You already know this: Whatever you are feeling right now is your experience. You have a right to your own experience.

When I first read the news at 6:30 am, I felt sick in the stomach. Then disappointed. Then angry. Then sad. Then suspicious. Then horrified. Then fearful. Then sad and angry again but with greater intensity.

And in the midst of all that I let out a few f-bombs.

Every emotion you’re feeling is valid. Give it space.

Also important: being real about these emotions with others. No need to overwhelm or flood people, but for the sake of sanity and integrity, let’s not fake happy.

This morning, as our boys were about to wake up, I decided to take this stance with them. After sharing the election news, I said to our 15-year-old, “Whatever you are feeling is OK. As for me, I’m having very strong emotions right now.”

2. Watch out for these nine tempting but unhelpful interpretations

As important as it is to validate our heart’s emotions, it’s equally vital to hold lightly our mind’s interpretations, especially so soon after hearing the news and before all the facts are out.

Here are nine interpretations of the election results that may tempt you yet are premature, incomplete, and/or insufficiently grounded:

1. “We’re screwed.” I had that thought this morning, especially related to climate change, Ukraine/Europe, liberal democracy, and government rule by experts based on the rule of law. Yet this interpretation isn’t objectively true. It can’t be; it’s a subjective interpretation. Nor is it helpful. Saying “we’re screwed” is a victim move. It sucks the juice right out of us. And, the truth is that we actually don’t know what’s going to happen. So, take humility pill. Swallow.
2. “It’s the racism.” Yes, there is racism and bigotry in the country. Mr. Trump, MAGA, and the Proud Boys brought it out of the shadows in ways I never would have expected a decade ago. The recent rally in Madison Square Garden provided ample evidence of the ugly underbelly of America. But have you seen the exit poll data? Mr. Trump’s support among “white” folks decreased. Even his advantage among “white” men went down from 31 percent in 2016 to 20 percent in 2024. Among Latino men, Clinton and Biden had 31 and 23 percent advantages over Mr. Trump. This year, Mr. Trump won that demographic by 10 percent! Among Black American men, the Democratic advantage slid from 69 percent under Hillary Clinton to 58 percent under Harris.
3. “It’s the sexism.” Of all the interpretations listed here, this is the one I’d bet is most likely to hold up, not as the whole story, but as a partial explanation. I think it was hard for many men to vote for Harris because she’s a woman (and not hard at all for others). Let’s talk about the debate. Harris trounced Mr. Trump. Totally destroyed him. Up until now, I viewed this triumph as a reason for men (and women) to vote for her. Yet, maybe there is another way to look at it. What if her pummeling of him had the opposite effect on certain men, especially Latino and Black American men with a traditionalist worldview? Could it have pushed them into Mr. Trump’s camp? Because if she could do that to him, maybe other women could do that to me. The loss of status here can be excruciatingly painful. So, yes, sexism is part of the story. Yet it is only a partial interpretation. Class, worldviews, economics, the social media landscape, and people’s moods are also worth further exploration.
4. “Maybe Trump isn’t so bad after all.” OK, I’ll admit it. I included this to see if you were paying attention. I haven’t had this thought today, and I’m going to wager you haven’t either.
5. “She could’ve run a better campaign.” Sure. I wish she had done more interviews. I wish she had done more town halls. I wish she would’ve made some simple declarations to reassure important segments of the population that she wasn’t a culture outlier. She could’ve said, “People born biologically male shouldn’t be competing in women’s sports.” And maybe a different VP candidate could’ve made a difference. But these are all counterfactuals. And she did many things well. Her convention speech was solid. She dominated the debate. Her team created a robust field operation. And she did what Republicans have often criticized Democrats for not doing (sometimes with justification): speak patriotically about America’s promise and optimistically about its future.
6. “I should’ve done more”. Maybe. Yet, maybe we can all cut ourselves some slack. Sure, it makes sense to reflect on how I invested my time, learn from this, and commit to taking positive action in the future. But getting caught in a mood of guilt (I’ve done something wrong, and there’s nothing I can do to make it better) won’t help me and won’t help the country.
7. “People have lost their minds.” Yeah, to paraphrase my last piece, Donald Trump is the Exorcist of Shame, we’ve had 23,500 disqualifying revelations about Mr. Trump, yet half the country just voted for him. This is confusing, dispiriting, and heartbreaking. Yet the other half of the country voted for Kamala Harris. Let’s not forget about them. As for the folks who marked their ballots for Mr. Trump, I remind myself that each person is the hero of their own story. Given who they are and what they see, voting for him made sense. I think they made a tragic decision. I think many will come to regret their decisions as they watch what he does and its impact on them. But only some have truly lost their minds. The rest are simply heroes of different stories.
8. “They’ll get what they deserve.” This is mean-spirited. The anger behind it is valid, but let’s give that anger a different outlet.
9. “I need to cut down on the f-bombs.” No, you don’t. Just drop them in private or with trusted adult friends.

Weary of the pointless prickly polarization? Ready for more fiercely nuanced stands? I can help.

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